My December
by darkest demon child
Summary: Harry reminisces about his life and feelings toward a certain blond. Rated for kissing scene at the end. WARNING! Contains slash, and rated for language and said kissing scene. HPDM


Disclaimer: Sorry, I don't own Harry Potter. Too bad. I'd rather own Tom Felton though, to be perfectly honest. ;; sorry, TF fangirl here. Oh yeah, I don't own My December either.

Summary: Harry and Draco reminisce about their lives and feelings for one another during the Christmas break their seventh year at Hogwarts . One-shot

A/N: One last thing to bug you readers before I let you get along to the fic. This story was thought up on the spur of the moment, literally, when I was reading a draco/harry slash fic and the song My December by Linkin Park. It's a really pretty song and please feel free to e-mail me or instant message me at fallenangel16908 if you would like me to send it to you. WARNING! Contains slash, aka male/male pairings. Don't like that, then don't read. Enough said. On with the fic!

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A sad sigh filled the cold night air around Harry Potter as he walked along the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Over the past month the legendary savior of the wizarding world had begun taking these walks in order to clear out his impossibly cluttered brain and conscience. Contrary to popular belief, Harry was NOT happy with the way his life had turned out.

'No one really understands me. Ron, Hermione, Remus, Dumbledore...they only pretend to comprehend half the things that I go through everyday of this fucking life that I've been forced to endure. Even Sir...even my own godfather didn't understand me when he was alive, but at least he had the integrity to say that to my face,' thought Harry as he angrily kicked at the powdery snow beneath his feet. The pearly white crystals flew into the air, temporarily illuminated by the light of the full moon above the boy's head before falling back to the ground slowly.

Harry groaned as he thought over everything that had happened to him in the past few months. Voldemort was still at large, though he seemed to be laying low this year, most likely to plot a new assassination attempt on Harry in the last month of his final year at Hogwarts. Then the prophecy that had been plaguing Harry's mind for nearly a year and a half would be fulfilled, and only one would emerge from the battle alive.

It was because of this destined fight that Harry had begun spending nearly every evening with one of his professors training for the final battle. Snape taught him Occlumency, and even though he wasn't nearly as skilled at the art as the Boy-Who-Lived, the Potions Master could still perfect his technique, in many of the same ways Muggle sports coaches worked with their athletes. Dumbledore and Remus, the newly re-appointed DADA professor, worked with him on defensive and offensive spells that would probably be of nearly no use to him whatsoever when he faced down with the Dark Lord. Professor McGonagall tutored him on advanced Transfiguration as well as becoming an animagus, though Harry had just transformed for the first time two weeks ago, his newly acquired animal form being a golden eagle. 'It's ironic really. I always seem to live up to everyone else's expectations of what I should be. Even my animagus form is something regal and powerful, just like how I'm supposed to be.'

Emerald green eyes made their way up to the heavens to stare at the silvery moon above them. Harry stopped walking for a moment to continue his saddened gaze at the majestic orb as his thoughts continued to consume him. 'Why did I have to live? My whole life is royally screwed because I lived. Hell, I can't even have a decent relationship because I lived! What's the point of living if you can't be a normal person?!' Harry groaned out loud at this last part. Ever since his horrific relationship with Cho Chang in his 5th year he hadn't been able to have a relationship with anyone, for several very important reasons. One; he didn't want to endanger anyone by getting too close to them. Two; every girl that he knew with the exception of Hermione only wanted to be with him for his name, not what he was really like. Three; he didn't find any girls appealing, and believed that he was either homosexual or at the very least bisexual, if reason number four was anything to go by. And four; he had been having very...erotic dreams about a certain blond Slytherin who was supposedly his arch-enemy.

Harry groaned again at this last thought. 'And on top of having a royally shitty life, I have to go and make it even more abnormal by having dreams about guys! And not just any guy, but...HIM! I should be having dreams about beating the crap out of him, not...yeah. Don't wanna go there right now.' The boy ran his hand distractedly through his already messy locks as he continued his walk. 'Why can't I be like Ron? He and Hermione are so much in love that it's sickening! I feel like gagging whenever they're together, it gets that bad. Why can't I have something like that?'

Hearing distant laughter the boy turned his green eyes back towards the castle that was his home and school. Spying the festivities through one of the large windows that portrayed the Great Hall, Harry sighed again and kept to his route. 'It doesn't matter that it's almost midnight on Christmas Eve. No one even notices that I'm gone. They're too busy having a good time. Even him.'

That was when Harry heard something that stopped both him and his thoughts dead. Someone was softly singing about one hundred yards in front of him, and it wasn't Jingle Bell Rock. Creepy closer, the green eyed boy began to decipher the words and recognized it as a Muggle rock song of all things.

This is my December

This is my time of the year

This is my December

This is all so clear

This is my December

This is my snow-covered home

This is my December

This is me alone

A cloud glided in front of the full moon before Harry could get a good glance at the owner of the soft, sad voice. Regardless of the new darkness, the singer continued with his sorrowful song.

And I just wish that I didn't feel

Like there was something I missed

And I take back all the things I said

To make you feel like that

And I just wish that I didn't feel

Like there was something I missed

And I take back all the things I said to you

And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere to go to

Give it all away

To have someone to come home to

This is my December

These are my snow-covered dreams

This is me pretending

This is all I need

The cloud still hadn't moved away from the moon, but Harry could just barely make out a figure sitting at the base of a large weeping willow with their knees pulled up close to their chest.

And I just wish that I didn't feel

Like there was something I missed

And I take back all the things I said

To make you feel like that

And I just wish that I didn't feel

Like there was something I missed

And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere to go

Give it all away

To have someone to come home to

This is my December

The elusive cloud chose this moment to shift its position in the sky to reveal the glowing moon, sending silvery rays of unearthly light onto the scene. Harry gasped in shock as he found himself standing not three yards away from none other than Draco Malfoy. The blond looked up at the newcomer, tears sliding down his pale cheeks as he continued his song, grey eyes staring directly into Harry's green ones.

This is my time of the year

This is my December

This is all so clear

And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere to go to

Give it all away

To have someone to come home to

Harry found that he couldn't move from his spot as his the last words faded into the night. Grey eyes continued to meet green as they both gazed unblinkingly at one another, lost in the strange yet magical moment. Tears continued to roll from Draco's eyes while keeping eye contact with Harry, who found tears beginning to form in his own.

The instant Harry began walking slowly toward the blond again, everything began to play itself before his eyes, like segments from a movie. Their first meeting at the robe shop, Harry turning down Draco's proposed friendship, them serving detention in the forest their first year, playing Quidditch against one another for the first time, Draco sneering at him across the hallway, the first dream he had about the blond that year, hearing Draco singing softly to himself.

Stopping directly in front of the blond, Harry slowly sank to his knees in front of him, ignoring the cold wetness of the snow seeping through his cloak and jeans. Reaching out tentatively with his hand, as though frightened Draco would bolt at any second, Harry slowly rested his rough hand against the blonde's soft, pale cheek. Silvery grey eyes closed as the Slytherin leaned into the Gryffindor's touch, rubbing slightly against his hand.

"Why?"

Draco opened his eyes again and looked into the emeralds that were across from him. "Why what?"

"Why are you singing that song?"

The blond looked down to his lap. "Because it's how I feel."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Why?"

Silvery eyes met emerald eyes again, this time with annoyance flickering through them. "Why do you keep saying that? Are you trying to be funny?"

Harry didn't respond to his question. "Why are you making me feel this way?"

Draco's eyes widened in shock. "What way?"

A faint blush filled Harry's cheeks. "I feel...warm. With that feeling you get in your stomach every time you dive while chasing the snitch during a Quidditch match. Like I'm soaring over clouds and can never come down."

The blonde's mouth smiled slightly. "Do you like that feeling, Harry?"

The boy across from him nodded slightly, then blushed again. Draco raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"That was the first time you ever really called me Harry."

This time Draco blushed against Harry's hand. "Um..."

Harry chuckled slightly. "What's this? Are you lost for words Draco?"

"No...I just...hey! You called me Draco!"

"Well, I...uh...don't try to change the subject."

"I'm not. I'm just making a comment."

Harry sighed softly and began to pull his hand away, realizing that he had had his hand pressed against Draco's cheek during their entire conversation. The blonde's hand suddenly whipped up to grab the retreating hand and re-apply it to its previous position. Harry blinked in confusion. A look of bliss flooded Draco's features as he nuzzled the palm of the boy's hand. "Don't...I...I like it."

"Draco, what are you doing?"

Draco's blush deepened. "Look...Harry."

"Yes?"

"I...you know that feeling that I make you feel?"

Harry nodded, wondering what the blond was trying to say.

"Well, you make me feel like that too. You have for a few months now."

Emerald eyes widened in shock as Harry realized what Draco meant. "You...you..."

Draco nodded as he turned his head slightly so that he could plant a soft kiss against Harry's palm. "Harry, I want you. Will you have me?" he whispered softly against the rough skin.

The hand moved away from Draco's lips, and the blond looked up in confusion, only to find to that Harry was wrapping his arms around the back of his neck while leaning closer to the boy. "Yes, I will have you Draco," he whispered back as he moved in the capture the blonde's lips with his own.

Moaning into the kiss, Draco wrapped his own arms around Harry and pulled him forward so that there was no inch of space between the two, causing the boy to lose his balance on his knees and fall atop the blond. Opening his mouth slightly to deepen the kiss, Draco slid his tongue out to tentatively meet with Harry's while he moved his hands up and down the other boy's back.

After a moment both pulled back from lack of oxygen, and lay there gazing into each other's eyes. Suddenly a beeping sound could be heard, causing Draco smiled and ran a lock of Harry's messy hair between his long fingers.

"Merry Christmas, Harry."

A/N: Tehehehehehe I should have probably saved this for Christmas, but I didn't cus I wanted to post it right away. That's the bad thing about me, once I write something I just GOTTA post it asap. Oh well. Anyway, please tell me what you think about it via a review. You know, that weird thing where you click that purple/blue button at the bottom of the page that says Submit Review and then you write about how it's positively horrible and you hate it or how it's the best fluff story ever written? Yeah, it's that. Tehehe. Flames are welcome, but please don't flame solely on the fact that this is a slash fic, that just makes me laugh. Constructive criticism is MORE than welcome! I love it, so please send me some! Ok, enough of that. Ddc out, and I hope you enjoyed my little fic.


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